9/10/13

Tonight me and my mom had a talk about marriage. It got real. She thinks that I'm the girl that doesn't ever want to get married. Which is everything but the truth. I've just sort of put this wall up (cliche i know). I've gone through some rough relationships in my life. I've always put so much into the relationships I've been in, and looking back, I shouldn't have. I've never been on the receiving end of love, which is fine, i'm still way young. But it's really hard to literally put all you have into a relationship and not get anything back. So over time, I have taught myself to make it seem as if I don't care. But in all reality, marriage is all I want. 

I want to find my best friend.

I want to have someone love me as much as I love them.

I want to share my life with someone.

I want to be married in the temple, and to be sealed for time and all eternity.

I want to have someone by my side forever.

I want to share my family with someone, and someday start our own.

I want a travel partner.

I want to wake up to someone on the other side of the bed.

I want to stop worrying about being on my own. 

I want to make someone smile, and have that in return.

I want so many things. 

And I honestly cannot wait for marriage.
There mum, I said it.

All Too Well

 

You know those songs that scream someone's name to you? Like every single word reminds you of that person.

 

JOSH. that's all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I walked through the door with you, the air was cold,
But something 'bout it felt like home somehow.
And I left my scarf there at your sister's house,
And you still got it in your drawer even now.

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze.
We're singing in the car, getting lost Upstate.
Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place,
And I can picture it after all these days.

And I know it's long gone,
And that magic's not here no more,
And I might be okay,
But I'm not fine at all.
'Cause there we are again on that little town street.
You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over me.
Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well.
Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red.
You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-size bed
And your mother's telling stories about you on the tee ball team
You tell me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me.

And I know it's long gone
And there was nothing else I could do
And I forget about you long enough
To forget why I needed to...

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night.
We dance around the kitchen in the refrigerator light
Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well, yeah.

Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much,
And maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up.
Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well.

Hey, you call me up again just to break me like a promise.
So casually cruel in the name of being honest.
I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here
'Cause I remember it all, all, all... too well.
Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it
I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it
After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own
Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week
'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me
You can't get rid of it 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah

'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so
Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well
Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all
Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well.

Thanks Taylor, couldn't have said it better myself.